Happy Birthday... Where Are My Presents?

I've noticed that Nairobi is quickly becoming very Westernized in the way that Christmas is being celebrated. And I have the unique opportunity to be part of slowing that down a little. I don't want 'Christmas' to be lost forever here. None of this 'happy holidays' and don't talk about Christ nonsense.

Don't get me wrong, I am all about family traditions and gifts (in moderation) and even Rudolph... cause, he's pretty awesome. But I think that Christians should not only incorporate the true meaning of Christmas into their celebrations but, *gasp* centralize their celebrations on it.

And so, this year, I am working very hard to celebrate Advent intentionally and share that with my church; Nairobi Chapel. 

Most people look at me blankly when I say the word Advent. Understandably. I didn't really know what it was entirely either, and it's something that we've 'done' at my home church for over ten years. It's not just about lighting a candle and reading some passages from the Bible. It's not about opening up little doors on your advent calendar and either eating chocolate or hanging an angel on some nativity landscape.

CONFESSION: I would usually find myself eating all 24 advent chocolates within the first couple of days of advent... ok, the first day.

So this year I am hoping and praying that as a production team at Nairobi Chapel, we can properly convey what Advent is. To have people join in on the celebration of what God has accomplished in fulfilling His promise. To join in on expectantly waiting for Christ's return. To join in on approaching Christmas with a completely different focus. No more, "Happy Birthday Jesus... where are my presents?"

And in preparation for the first Sunday of advent, we are creating a video. We may have been yelled at by bus drivers and almost run down by a couple of speeding vehicles, but it will be worth it if even one family is really excited about Advent this year.

Do you celebrate advent? What do you do to make it special?

I Don't Like Investing in Short Term Relationships

... is what I try not to say when I say things like, "I'm an introvert, I have to push myself to be social" or "I've had a long week, I just want to be around friends."

Truth is, most missionaries feel this way. Introverts and extroverts alike eventually get sick of people coming and going from their lives. We tend to stick close to those who are more likely to be permanent and hold loosely those whom we know will board a plane to depart just as quickly as they did to arrive. 

It doesn't have a lot to do with their lack of knowledge about their current surroundings, nor does it have anything to do with their short term agendas.

It is more likely that it has everything to do with the fact that as a missionary or any person who lives abroad, you have endured your share of great relationships who have been pulled away from you simply by the divide of an ocean... or a mountain, or even the scarcity of transport from one place to another.

We meet someone who we have a lot in common with. It could be geography, passion, language, list of movies, common holidays even. And then just as you think you've made a new best friend, their path branches off to a different set of adventures from yours, and let's face it: out of sight, out of mind.

Picking up the Pieces

The mall may be deserted and the gun fire has stopped.
But the influence this day has left on people will not be forgotten.

Westage Mall collapse

It has been exactly one week since terrorists stormed the Westgate mall in Nairobi and people are back to their routines. The weekend hosted dozens of funerals including the funeral of the president's nephew and his fiance which was held at Nairobi Chapel on Friday morning. I had the opportunity to help make sure things went smoothly and as the place packed with about 3,000 mourners and press, it was evident that last Saturday will be forgotten by few.

It is not only those who lost loved ones who will forever have it etched in their brains. It is also the ones who escaped that will grieve. They will need to come to terms with this experience and for a few, a lot of internal healing will need to be sought.

Today the state of the once very posh shopping centre lies in rubble (above) but it will be rebuilt and restored and enjoyed again. As will the hearts of everyone affected by this horrible event.

A friend of mine was in the mall with her children that day. Her photo was taken and her story recorded here.

4 year old Portia, running to safety

What God Hates

There are six things the Lord hates—

no, seven things he detests:

haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill the innocent,
a heart that plots evil,

feet that race to do wrong,

a false witness who pours out lies,

a person who sows discord in a family.

- Proverbs 6:16-19

Al-Shabaab, a terrorist group linked with Al-Qaeda, is proving to be guilty of every one of these characteristics as they have unleashed yet another attack on unsuspecting, innocent men, women and children in Nairobi. This isn't new to them. Their game is terrorizing the globe. Pakistan, India, Uganda, Kenya are only a handful of locations where they have unleashed their cowardly killing sprees to save face of a losing battle against a world who actually holds human rights valuable. Their spokesmen continue to spew out pretentious small minded threats against anyone who supports taking down their terrorist group in any way.

Just thinking about this garbage makes my blood boil. I've been on Canadian soil when the US was attacked but this time, it hits even closer to home.

Westage is a four storey shopping centre, comprised of over 80 stores including a movie theatre and a two storey grocery store, on the west side of Nairobi. I've been there a bunch of times. Typically around holidays because the way they decorate the place always reminds me a bit of Canada.

The last time I was there I played Uncharted from a bean bag chair in the video game section of a tech shop and ate at Haandi where I ordered some curry dish in medium; discovering that their 'medium' actually means 'runny nose and fiery tongue.'

On a Saturday at lunch time there are thousands of people roaming it's brightly lit hallways; many of them families with small children. This is when the Al-Shabaab decided to attack. They didn't attack the Kenyan military, police or government. They attacked children, pregnant women, the elderly... They attacked Kenyans and foreigners alike. The current death toll lies at 62 with victims between the ages of 2-76. They killed anyone they pleased in their frantic blood-lust. And while they did that, they tweeted! Twitter shut down multiple accounts but they just continued registering and mocking Kenyan police as closed in on the terrorists and secured hostages. One tweet that was particularly piggish, "Westgate a 14-hour standoff relayed in 1,400 rounds of bullets and 140 characters of vengeance and still ongoing. Good morning Kenya!"

I can't quite wrap my head around how people are capable of this kind of evil. I don't want to get into the discussion of types of sin and how there is no grade of severity - sin is sin. But the Bible is clear: God hates what is going on at Westgate. Hates it with a passion. As do I. As should we all. 

A People Who Prayed For Peace

Well, as most of you would have heard, Kenya recently just had it's first presidential election since the horrors that took place in this country in 2007 over the last election. And much to the international media's disappointment, they had nothing to report on but peace.

Peace doesn't sell papers. You don't get high ratings from stories of peace. But the church in this nation prayed, diligently, for over a year in preparation for the 2013 election and God heard their prayers. And he answered with a resounding, "Amen." And so it was... and so it is.

For the first time in the history of this country's independence, the only thing the people wanted more than a winner was for their neighborhoods and relationships to lack any kind of tension.

God fought for us and with us in this cause and He has transformed this country's story from a fiery, murderous blemish to a promise of hope and unity among Kenyans. They also have a new constitution and had their first ever presidential debates this year. God did all that in less than 5 years.

The day after the winner was chosen, the celebration was not for the prospective new President*, but it was a celebration of what God has done. There are no riots, no looters, no machete wielding idlers, no hate speech, no posters... nothing but peace.

I joined in that celebration and I'm not surprised in the least that there is peace. God is really working on this nation. I can see the future here and it is a bright one.

(Nairobi Chapel - The morning after the votes were tallied)

*The announced winner of the election has not yet taken his place as President. There were some abnormalities in the tallying process that are being challenged in court. Until there is a verdict, President Kibaki remains in power.

The First Rule in Fire Hose Operation...

The first rule of fire hose operation is to hold on tight!

This is not a training that security guards receive though, I’m sure. Because on Wednesday afternoon, the two responsible for turning it on, ran as fast as the onlookers while that hose shot up like a drunken cobra ready to give concussions and a thorough bathing to anyone who dared enter it’s ring.

Let me back up a little to an enjoyable turkey, cheese and avocado wrap that I was doing my best to savor and not choke down like a goose because it was so delicious. I was having lunch with a pastor of mine, whom I always enjoy talking to. And as we chatted about friends, work and puppies we noticed an alarming amount of white smoke coming from the chimney of the adjacent restaurant. She made a joke about the announcement of a new pope as I thought, “Surely, the staff must know about this.” And, “At least the smoke isn't coming from the kitchen.”

Child Sponsorship Video - DONE

I've finally finished a project that I've been working on for ages.
To celebrate it's completion, I wanted to share it with you.

I Want This So Badly...

When was the last time you wanted something really badly?

I guess for some it's the new iphone or that house you saw on the way up north. 

For others it's that job you've spent four years of your life studying for or maybe it's more personal than that.

There aren't a lot of things that I've wanted more badly than this. And it's hard for me to talk about things that are not yet mine. I don't like to be in want, I don't like getting my hopes up for things that are not certain and I don't like sounding discontent.

In fact, the last thing I wanted this badly... was not meant for me. 

And God didn't let me have it.

Just Spinning My Wheels

Someone once told me, 

“If you don’t have time for God, then you’re doing more than He planned for you to do.”

I should have seen it coming. I typically know my limits but I had some questions I needed answered that seemed pressing since I stepped back on Kenyan soil.

Should I continue what I’m doing or is God moving me elsewhere?

Will I ever get a residency permit?

Will I be able to afford to get out next time my visa expires?

Will enough money come to pay the bills next month?

How long will I be here this time?

Does God even want me here anymore?

I may not have the answer to all of these yet but I can tell you one thing: A lot of these answers are used to entice me to doubt, to bring me down and to shift my focus away from where it should be.

Stand Firm and Let God Fight

I had an unpleasant encounter with a neighbor a few days ago.
After a day long meeting and an hour in traffic, I enter the gate to my street and out of the darkness, a man I've never met, says harshly, "Where's the 500 you owe for security?"
My response should have had much more patience but it didn't. The short 'conversation' ended with, "This gate is illegal, I should call city council!" He yelled as I stormed off, "If you don't pay, you don't pass through the gate. There! I've told the guards, you can't pass here now."

The Rattlesnake And The Man

This morning I woke from a dream unlike any I've ever had before. I was with a man, one I didn't recognize from my life, who was teaching me some things as we wondered through some rooms.

We came to a room that we needed to get through but there was a single rattlesnake in this room. I can't remember what was on the other side of this room but I do remember feeling like I would brave anything just to get there. This man claimed that this snake was assiduous in it's desire to attack him the last time he passed through but he knew how to thwart the snake. 

The next thing I know, I am floating through the room side by side with this man. It seemed as if he intentionally led us to the snake rather than trying to get through the room quickly. He had a large piece of paper that draped down and he continuously positioned us in a way that if the snake struck, we would be defended by this shield. It was working, only I couldn't figure out why this man continued to stay in the corner of the room where this snake was, locked in a dance that seemed frustratingly unnecessary. 

I became fearful the longer we danced there and found myself separated from the man and trying to get to the door. Only, the further I got from the man, the lower I floated and somehow, this rattlesnake had ended up right in front of me. I heard the man call me back quickly. But I froze. Then the man yelled out a direction but it was too late. The snake lunged and just as I woke up, I knew that the 'me' I left in that dream had suffered a fatal bite.

If He Said It...

It was a Wednesday night and watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition was a bad idea because I was already feeling a bit emotional.

I was trying to get my mind off of this huge mountain in front of me but just looking away doesn't make anything disappear. Two hours of avoidance had gone by and I knew I had to face it. There was a deadline in my near future and there was absolutely nothing that I could do to meet it.

I needed to hear from God so I approached Him in the laziest way I could: I opened up a Bible Study that I had been doing with a group of ladies, ironically titled, "He speaks to me." I re-read sentence after sentence and it was only after two pages of not really reading that I finally gave up and timidly opened my mouth.

It wasn't long before I became a puffy-faced mess on my bedroom floor.

I realized there were things I hadn't talked to God about, simply because I didn't want to say them out loud. and then I got to the heart of it: "I can't do this God. I have no resources, no money, There's nothing I can do to make this happen. You HAVE to do this."

This Is Kinda Tough

Bad news...
Immigration has decided to decline my application for a missionary permit.
I have yet to find out the reason yet, but this means that I am not YET a resident of Kenya.
My tourist visa is expiring at the beginning of July and so I need to leave the country... again.

There are a lot of aspects of this situation that are trying to bring me down and, I'm not going to lie, I have my days of stress. It's really hard when things that are out of your control don't go as you want them to. And it's just plain hard when things are out of your control. But God is doing something big here and taking me through a transition. And even though the boat may be rocking, this boat will reach the shore... eventually.

We all know that when it rains it pours and boy, is it pouring right now. I won't go into detail about everything that is standing in my way because it's just temptation to complain and forget to trust in my God.

But I do need prayer. Please pray for provision for my going home and returning again.
Provision has been a theme in my life for the past few years and you'd think I would have learned to trust without doubting by now. But I admit, it is still a lesson I need to learn. I'm waiting on God for what seems like a miracle. And when it happens, I know it will be undeniably His doing.

Grace Plays For Someone Else Now

Grace was on her way to a basketball scholarship in the US before she got injured. When she thought her dreams were lost, God showed her something new.

Listen to Grace's story below.

Knowing About vs. Knowing, Njeri Knows

Njeri knew about Jesus was when she was young, but it wasn't until she was 22 when she really understood that she needed Him in her life.

Listen to Njeri's story below.

Expired Follow Up

In my last post I mentioned that things were getting a little down to the wire in terms of immigration and my forced departure date.

Well, I spent 4 hours at immigration on Friday and walked out of a very strange morning with a one month extension on my tourist visa and a free lunch!

I can't really explain it any other way than God does interesting things just for the fun of it I'm sure.
Who asked for lunch? not me. But it was delicious.

So now I have 30 more days for my resident missionary permit to come through.
And the thing I'm most thankful about is not having to leave this coming Saturday because it was really bad timing.

I will keep checking weekly on my permit. Please pray with me that it comes through accepted, otherwise, pray for travel money. Either way, God's plans are strange, fun and always better than mine. So here we go... one more month.

Time Expired

Well, it's that time again!
That's right, my tourist visa is expiring.
yippeeeeee (in the most sarcastic way)
My visa expires on June 2. That gives me 14 days from tomorrow.

What does that mean?
Well, this time around, I'm not entirely sure. Typically it means that I need to leave the country. I've been there before... a couple of times.

Why is this time different?
Almost 3 months ago I submitted my application for a Missionary Permit. It has not returned yet. I'm hoping that because the application is in, and I'm waiting on immigration, that somehow I can get an extension on my tourist visa until my permit is ready. (assuming it won't be denied.)

What if it IS denied?
Or, what if you can't get an extension?
At this point, God is involving me in so many things over here that I have no doubt that He is not ending my time here. If the permit is denied then I'll either need to try again or look into other options. But immediately it will mean that I need to leave the country for a short period of time.

I Feel Lighter

Hours of editing pays off when a project is finished and the 'client' is happy.
This project was supposed to be a rush job. But I came to realize during our one day shoot of madness that when you work alone, productions can't really be rushed.

Fortunately, God has really increased my contacts in the production business here in Nairobi. I have a feeling the following projects will not only be more fun but will be a lot easier. (This one was fun too!)

Check out my latest completed project for ByGrace Trust.

I Only Asked For Bread

...and somehow ended up with a bakery.

In my last post I mentioned that one of my weaknesses is trusting that I am worthy of all of God's goodness through answered prayer. To re-cap, it says in Matthew 5:9-11, "You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."

My lack of trust has nothing to do with God answering my prayers or not, cause the more I look at my history of relationship with Him, it's clear to see that I am insane for believing this lie. One thing that is for sure though is that my previous lack of vulnerability in bringing things to Him limited my ability to see clearly all the answers to the prayers that I dared not utter. It's a little sad to think of all the time that I wasted, never realizing that I was compartmentalizing my relationship with God when all He wants is to spend time with us; for us to know Him.

So I've been praying about everything.

For three months I prayed about moving. The only answer that I got from God was, "Wait."

50 Feet In The Air

Everyone struggles with something in their faith right?
Or, I'm the only one...?

Lately I've really been trying to correct some unbelief I have in the area of prayer.
In short, I'm the kind of person that totally believes in prayer, that God blesses and heals and listens to the hearts of his children. I believe prayer works... for other people.
I've always struggled a bit with the truth that God cares about me and actually wants bless my life in huge ways. Not because I don't believe He is able, but because maybe, there's a reason He would not want to be willing.

It sounds kind of ridiculous to struggle with that, especially knowing that if it were not for God and his plans for my life, I would not be in this place right now, this place in which I am absolutely, undeniably content and even thrilled.

But it's true, I have weaknesses, lots of them, just like you.
*gasp* Yeah, I just called you out.