I Only Asked For Bread

...and somehow ended up with a bakery.

In my last post I mentioned that one of my weaknesses is trusting that I am worthy of all of God's goodness through answered prayer. To re-cap, it says in Matthew 5:9-11, "You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."

My lack of trust has nothing to do with God answering my prayers or not, cause the more I look at my history of relationship with Him, it's clear to see that I am insane for believing this lie. One thing that is for sure though is that my previous lack of vulnerability in bringing things to Him limited my ability to see clearly all the answers to the prayers that I dared not utter. It's a little sad to think of all the time that I wasted, never realizing that I was compartmentalizing my relationship with God when all He wants is to spend time with us; for us to know Him.

So I've been praying about everything.

For three months I prayed about moving. The only answer that I got from God was, "Wait."

I knew I needed to move. As much as I liked having a rather large apartment and an extra room for guests, rent was beginning to sink me with the dropping exchange rate and I struggled with the idea of being financially irresponsible the longer I stayed in this place.

I looked at a dozen apartments in those three months. I had a list of requirements ideals that included:

1. Staying in the same neighborhood. I know a lot of my neighbors and I didn't want to lose those relationships unless God made it clear that I was done in this particular place. Plus, it's close to Kibera for my Bible study kids to walk to and all the places I frequent during the week.
2. Cheaper rent. I needed it to be at least 5000 shillings cheaper per month.
3. Good security. 'Nough said.

Every time I prayed about it, God told me to just wait. Of course, I would have my moments of doubt, asking God, "Are you sure I shouldn't just take this dingy cheap place? Yeah it's probably roach infested and I can't fit more than 3 people in the sitting room but at least I can afford it."

He would answer me with, "Just be patient, I have a plan." And then He would provide money for my electricity and internet bills.

Then I would have a moment of, "God, should I just get a room mate again and try to balance the unknown with someone else's life?"

Then He would answer with, "Trust me. Just wait, I have something in mind for you but it's not ready yet." And He would provide for my rent and money for cooking gas that unexpectedly ran out a few days before.

A little discouraged from seeing some beautiful places that were too expensive and some teeny tiny places that were in my price range, I was beginning to think that I was either being too picky or that I would need to leave this neighborhood. And there were also the dreaded thought/probable reality of, "So and so thinks I'm being totally irresponsible by waiting this long."

And then it happened...

Karibu (kah-ree-boo) is Swahili for welcome

I was led to a place about a 1 minute walk down the street from where I was living. A little apartment built behind a family home and locked behind a private gate. A bright, one bedroom apartment with a good sized sitting room and lots of closet space in the bedroom. A little kitchen with granite counter tops. And a toilet separate from the shower - which I love! And the price?... 6000 shillings less per month.

It was as if God took my prayer for a new apartment, went through my ideals list.... neighborhood, rent, security: check, check, check... And then threw in some freebies like no bugs, no neighbors above or below, great landlord who lives next door, lots of sunlight and phone network (neither of which my previous place had), colour choices for the walls... seriously, the list goes on.

And here I was praying for bread when the whole time God was building me a bakery.

He's amazing. And He cares about us so much that He is not only able, but desires to do exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond all that we can ask or even imagine! (Ephesians 3:20)

Sometimes His answer looks differently than what we expected. That's only because His plans are so much grander than ours and He only has the absolute best in mind for us.

I thank God for revealing this truth to me more and more.