Happy Birthday... Where Are My Presents?

I've noticed that Nairobi is quickly becoming very Westernized in the way that Christmas is being celebrated. And I have the unique opportunity to be part of slowing that down a little. I don't want 'Christmas' to be lost forever here. None of this 'happy holidays' and don't talk about Christ nonsense.

Don't get me wrong, I am all about family traditions and gifts (in moderation) and even Rudolph... cause, he's pretty awesome. But I think that Christians should not only incorporate the true meaning of Christmas into their celebrations but, *gasp* centralize their celebrations on it.

And so, this year, I am working very hard to celebrate Advent intentionally and share that with my church; Nairobi Chapel. 

Most people look at me blankly when I say the word Advent. Understandably. I didn't really know what it was entirely either, and it's something that we've 'done' at my home church for over ten years. It's not just about lighting a candle and reading some passages from the Bible. It's not about opening up little doors on your advent calendar and either eating chocolate or hanging an angel on some nativity landscape.

CONFESSION: I would usually find myself eating all 24 advent chocolates within the first couple of days of advent... ok, the first day.

So this year I am hoping and praying that as a production team at Nairobi Chapel, we can properly convey what Advent is. To have people join in on the celebration of what God has accomplished in fulfilling His promise. To join in on expectantly waiting for Christ's return. To join in on approaching Christmas with a completely different focus. No more, "Happy Birthday Jesus... where are my presents?"

And in preparation for the first Sunday of advent, we are creating a video. We may have been yelled at by bus drivers and almost run down by a couple of speeding vehicles, but it will be worth it if even one family is really excited about Advent this year.

Do you celebrate advent? What do you do to make it special?

Picking up the Pieces

The mall may be deserted and the gun fire has stopped.
But the influence this day has left on people will not be forgotten.

Westage Mall collapse

It has been exactly one week since terrorists stormed the Westgate mall in Nairobi and people are back to their routines. The weekend hosted dozens of funerals including the funeral of the president's nephew and his fiance which was held at Nairobi Chapel on Friday morning. I had the opportunity to help make sure things went smoothly and as the place packed with about 3,000 mourners and press, it was evident that last Saturday will be forgotten by few.

It is not only those who lost loved ones who will forever have it etched in their brains. It is also the ones who escaped that will grieve. They will need to come to terms with this experience and for a few, a lot of internal healing will need to be sought.

Today the state of the once very posh shopping centre lies in rubble (above) but it will be rebuilt and restored and enjoyed again. As will the hearts of everyone affected by this horrible event.

A friend of mine was in the mall with her children that day. Her photo was taken and her story recorded here.

4 year old Portia, running to safety

What God Hates

There are six things the Lord hates—

no, seven things he detests:

haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill the innocent,
a heart that plots evil,

feet that race to do wrong,

a false witness who pours out lies,

a person who sows discord in a family.

- Proverbs 6:16-19

Al-Shabaab, a terrorist group linked with Al-Qaeda, is proving to be guilty of every one of these characteristics as they have unleashed yet another attack on unsuspecting, innocent men, women and children in Nairobi. This isn't new to them. Their game is terrorizing the globe. Pakistan, India, Uganda, Kenya are only a handful of locations where they have unleashed their cowardly killing sprees to save face of a losing battle against a world who actually holds human rights valuable. Their spokesmen continue to spew out pretentious small minded threats against anyone who supports taking down their terrorist group in any way.

Just thinking about this garbage makes my blood boil. I've been on Canadian soil when the US was attacked but this time, it hits even closer to home.

Westage is a four storey shopping centre, comprised of over 80 stores including a movie theatre and a two storey grocery store, on the west side of Nairobi. I've been there a bunch of times. Typically around holidays because the way they decorate the place always reminds me a bit of Canada.

The last time I was there I played Uncharted from a bean bag chair in the video game section of a tech shop and ate at Haandi where I ordered some curry dish in medium; discovering that their 'medium' actually means 'runny nose and fiery tongue.'

On a Saturday at lunch time there are thousands of people roaming it's brightly lit hallways; many of them families with small children. This is when the Al-Shabaab decided to attack. They didn't attack the Kenyan military, police or government. They attacked children, pregnant women, the elderly... They attacked Kenyans and foreigners alike. The current death toll lies at 62 with victims between the ages of 2-76. They killed anyone they pleased in their frantic blood-lust. And while they did that, they tweeted! Twitter shut down multiple accounts but they just continued registering and mocking Kenyan police as closed in on the terrorists and secured hostages. One tweet that was particularly piggish, "Westgate a 14-hour standoff relayed in 1,400 rounds of bullets and 140 characters of vengeance and still ongoing. Good morning Kenya!"

I can't quite wrap my head around how people are capable of this kind of evil. I don't want to get into the discussion of types of sin and how there is no grade of severity - sin is sin. But the Bible is clear: God hates what is going on at Westgate. Hates it with a passion. As do I. As should we all. 

A People Who Prayed For Peace

Well, as most of you would have heard, Kenya recently just had it's first presidential election since the horrors that took place in this country in 2007 over the last election. And much to the international media's disappointment, they had nothing to report on but peace.

Peace doesn't sell papers. You don't get high ratings from stories of peace. But the church in this nation prayed, diligently, for over a year in preparation for the 2013 election and God heard their prayers. And he answered with a resounding, "Amen." And so it was... and so it is.

For the first time in the history of this country's independence, the only thing the people wanted more than a winner was for their neighborhoods and relationships to lack any kind of tension.

God fought for us and with us in this cause and He has transformed this country's story from a fiery, murderous blemish to a promise of hope and unity among Kenyans. They also have a new constitution and had their first ever presidential debates this year. God did all that in less than 5 years.

The day after the winner was chosen, the celebration was not for the prospective new President*, but it was a celebration of what God has done. There are no riots, no looters, no machete wielding idlers, no hate speech, no posters... nothing but peace.

I joined in that celebration and I'm not surprised in the least that there is peace. God is really working on this nation. I can see the future here and it is a bright one.

(Nairobi Chapel - The morning after the votes were tallied)

*The announced winner of the election has not yet taken his place as President. There were some abnormalities in the tallying process that are being challenged in court. Until there is a verdict, President Kibaki remains in power.

The First Rule in Fire Hose Operation...

The first rule of fire hose operation is to hold on tight!

This is not a training that security guards receive though, I’m sure. Because on Wednesday afternoon, the two responsible for turning it on, ran as fast as the onlookers while that hose shot up like a drunken cobra ready to give concussions and a thorough bathing to anyone who dared enter it’s ring.

Let me back up a little to an enjoyable turkey, cheese and avocado wrap that I was doing my best to savor and not choke down like a goose because it was so delicious. I was having lunch with a pastor of mine, whom I always enjoy talking to. And as we chatted about friends, work and puppies we noticed an alarming amount of white smoke coming from the chimney of the adjacent restaurant. She made a joke about the announcement of a new pope as I thought, “Surely, the staff must know about this.” And, “At least the smoke isn't coming from the kitchen.”

I Want This So Badly...

When was the last time you wanted something really badly?

I guess for some it's the new iphone or that house you saw on the way up north. 

For others it's that job you've spent four years of your life studying for or maybe it's more personal than that.

There aren't a lot of things that I've wanted more badly than this. And it's hard for me to talk about things that are not yet mine. I don't like to be in want, I don't like getting my hopes up for things that are not certain and I don't like sounding discontent.

In fact, the last thing I wanted this badly... was not meant for me. 

And God didn't let me have it.

Just Spinning My Wheels

Someone once told me, 

“If you don’t have time for God, then you’re doing more than He planned for you to do.”

I should have seen it coming. I typically know my limits but I had some questions I needed answered that seemed pressing since I stepped back on Kenyan soil.

Should I continue what I’m doing or is God moving me elsewhere?

Will I ever get a residency permit?

Will I be able to afford to get out next time my visa expires?

Will enough money come to pay the bills next month?

How long will I be here this time?

Does God even want me here anymore?

I may not have the answer to all of these yet but I can tell you one thing: A lot of these answers are used to entice me to doubt, to bring me down and to shift my focus away from where it should be.

Stand Firm and Let God Fight

I had an unpleasant encounter with a neighbor a few days ago.
After a day long meeting and an hour in traffic, I enter the gate to my street and out of the darkness, a man I've never met, says harshly, "Where's the 500 you owe for security?"
My response should have had much more patience but it didn't. The short 'conversation' ended with, "This gate is illegal, I should call city council!" He yelled as I stormed off, "If you don't pay, you don't pass through the gate. There! I've told the guards, you can't pass here now."

This Is Kinda Tough

Bad news...
Immigration has decided to decline my application for a missionary permit.
I have yet to find out the reason yet, but this means that I am not YET a resident of Kenya.
My tourist visa is expiring at the beginning of July and so I need to leave the country... again.

There are a lot of aspects of this situation that are trying to bring me down and, I'm not going to lie, I have my days of stress. It's really hard when things that are out of your control don't go as you want them to. And it's just plain hard when things are out of your control. But God is doing something big here and taking me through a transition. And even though the boat may be rocking, this boat will reach the shore... eventually.

We all know that when it rains it pours and boy, is it pouring right now. I won't go into detail about everything that is standing in my way because it's just temptation to complain and forget to trust in my God.

But I do need prayer. Please pray for provision for my going home and returning again.
Provision has been a theme in my life for the past few years and you'd think I would have learned to trust without doubting by now. But I admit, it is still a lesson I need to learn. I'm waiting on God for what seems like a miracle. And when it happens, I know it will be undeniably His doing.

Expired Follow Up

In my last post I mentioned that things were getting a little down to the wire in terms of immigration and my forced departure date.

Well, I spent 4 hours at immigration on Friday and walked out of a very strange morning with a one month extension on my tourist visa and a free lunch!

I can't really explain it any other way than God does interesting things just for the fun of it I'm sure.
Who asked for lunch? not me. But it was delicious.

So now I have 30 more days for my resident missionary permit to come through.
And the thing I'm most thankful about is not having to leave this coming Saturday because it was really bad timing.

I will keep checking weekly on my permit. Please pray with me that it comes through accepted, otherwise, pray for travel money. Either way, God's plans are strange, fun and always better than mine. So here we go... one more month.

Time Expired

Well, it's that time again!
That's right, my tourist visa is expiring.
yippeeeeee (in the most sarcastic way)
My visa expires on June 2. That gives me 14 days from tomorrow.

What does that mean?
Well, this time around, I'm not entirely sure. Typically it means that I need to leave the country. I've been there before... a couple of times.

Why is this time different?
Almost 3 months ago I submitted my application for a Missionary Permit. It has not returned yet. I'm hoping that because the application is in, and I'm waiting on immigration, that somehow I can get an extension on my tourist visa until my permit is ready. (assuming it won't be denied.)

What if it IS denied?
Or, what if you can't get an extension?
At this point, God is involving me in so many things over here that I have no doubt that He is not ending my time here. If the permit is denied then I'll either need to try again or look into other options. But immediately it will mean that I need to leave the country for a short period of time.

I Only Asked For Bread

...and somehow ended up with a bakery.

In my last post I mentioned that one of my weaknesses is trusting that I am worthy of all of God's goodness through answered prayer. To re-cap, it says in Matthew 5:9-11, "You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."

My lack of trust has nothing to do with God answering my prayers or not, cause the more I look at my history of relationship with Him, it's clear to see that I am insane for believing this lie. One thing that is for sure though is that my previous lack of vulnerability in bringing things to Him limited my ability to see clearly all the answers to the prayers that I dared not utter. It's a little sad to think of all the time that I wasted, never realizing that I was compartmentalizing my relationship with God when all He wants is to spend time with us; for us to know Him.

So I've been praying about everything.

For three months I prayed about moving. The only answer that I got from God was, "Wait."

The Great Drought

Not only in Nairobi but on my blog it seems.

Ok, there's not really a drought in Nairobi, but it's been really HOT. Like 32 celsius hot... for weeks and there's not a lot of relief until sundown.

But this place has been seriously neglected and I am still sorry. Don't let this generate your opinions of me on such topics as parenting, pet ownership, stewardship or any other position of responsibility. I really am a responsible person... serious!

(This is where I would launch into a rant about how bad my internet has been for months but I just don't feel like complaining)

Instead, I'll give you a little snippet of what's happening right now.

VLOGS
I have about 4 to be edited.
Lately I've been working on quite a few projects at once and since I am not the type of person who prioritizes well, I've been plugging through all the urgent stuff more so than the important stuff. Still working on that. But know, there are vlogs coming. (One takes place at a Kenyan Wedding!)

PROJECTS
I am almost done a video project for By Grace Children's Home located in Ngong. (South west of Nairobi)
I filmed the whole thing in one day. I had some help from teachers at the school in wrangling in the actors but that day I took on the roles of director, sound engineer, director of photography, script writer and now editor. Let's just say that next time I will be asking for help. This project was a lot of fun to work on and I will be putting it on my youtube channel once it's done.

Baptism testimonial videos are one thing that I'm going to be taking initiative in creating at Nairobi Chapel this year and I will be filming my first one early next week. I have a meeting with the lady sharing her story and then it's film time. It should take a few sessions to edit but needs to be done by the end of next week. I'm excited about it but a little intimidated by the time frame because of other things going on.

Streeters! I've done streeters in the past with my good friend and former Youth Pastor. A streeter is basically taking a camera into the street and asking people questions. A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to do this with Chapel and I spent two days with the help of a friend just getting outside and talking to people. I love these kinds of projects. It gives you the opportunity to pick the brains of people you wouldn't normally have the opportunity to talk to, people from all kinds of social and economical backgrounds. We took the better part of a week condensing an hour and a half of footage into 3 minutes, created some subtitles, found some music and stuck on the Chapel logos and voila! An impactful video that we are showing at church this Sunday. I would love to upload this one but we had to assure hesitant participants that this video would not be published.

In the future I might have the opportunity to work on a video for a new organization that rescues young prostitute girls (under 12 years old) from slums to be housed, fed, educated, counseled and mentored. It's really heavy stuff but I'm hoping that God opens the door for me to have the opportunity to share what is going on in the lives of these girls, and how He is able to take someone even as broken as these and make them whole.


MORE
There is more stuff outside of video projects that I'm in the middle of. One big thing is MOVING!!
More on that soon...

"I Will Beat You"

I am reminded of one of the reasons why I am here, in Nairobi, every time I hear someone open their mouths and something horrifying comes out.

A baby in the building next to me cries all day and night. I don't have kids, but this is not the cry of a stubborn child. It's the cry of a neglected and abused child. From what I can tell, the single Mother works all day, leaving the raising of her precious baby boy to an impatient, intolerant, unloving house keeper, who either ignores the baby or screams at him.

I hear him cry for what seems like hours with a cry that leaves you wondering how his little throat is not bleeding. And then I hear these words out of her mouth as she stands in the doorway from outside. “Nitakuchapa! I will beat you saa hii… Ohhhh to Jesus be glory!!” And then she goes back to her 90 degree angle, hunched over a pile of laundry or sweeping the hallway with a small bunch of reeds all the while singing praise songs that she likely learned at church.

Human Powered Ferris Wheel

Kicked Out

I found out some very interesting news yesterday: My resident visa application cannot be processed yet.
The reason? apparently a letter from my college stating that I am a graduate, complete with school seal, is not good enough proof for the Kenyan Immigration Authority that I am educated.
I guess I'll need to send someone on a hunt for my diploma, which I'm sure is very buried and very dusty in storage.

Would have been nice to have known this before I paid for the letter from school and WAY before it was time for my tourist visa to expire.

I have to leave Kenya.
Not just Kenya actually, the region... something about an East African Visa makes it unacceptable to just cross over into Tanzania or Uganda and hop back in. And heading north seems like a bad idea at the moment; Somalia and Sudan both having their issues. Ethiopia could be an option, but I'm not really sure yet where I'll go.

It's not like I'm not up for an adventure, but this necessary trip was unexpected and therefor not budgeted for.
Not knowing a lot of people in surrounding countries makes it even more expensive because hotels have to be factored in and unless I want to sit on a bus or a train for days, airfare also has to be considered.

I know that God already has an idea for me, He just hasn't told me yet.
I will have to leave by November 30, and will also need to look into acquiring a visa for wherever I'm headed, so please join me in praying for travel details and expenses to be provided for very quickly.

Any suggestions for cheap travel on this continent?

Dancing Khakis

Slower Than You'd Like Me To Be

I met this guy the other day. He is the brother of a friend of mine and I love when I have the opportunity to talk to someone who is genuinely interested in my life rather than what I may or may not have in my pocket.

I’ve just come through a bit of a difficult week in interactions with the opposite sex. Let’s just say I ran into a lot of vulgarity last week on top of having to re-evaluate some friendships and deal with the always awkward, “we are just friends and nothing more” conversation. But God is faithful and gave me the grace I needed even when I was VERY close to throwing rocks at one not-so-gentle-man on the street.

That week aside, this conversation I was having with my friend’s brother reminded me of so many things that I love about this place; mostly the general importance of relationship over hustle and how the pace of life is just much slower than I’m used to.

Nairobi is a very busy city and the suburbs have followed suit. Everyone is trying to accomplish four or five projects at once, whether they are profiting, volunteering or otherwise. And compared to the rural areas… well there’s no comparison in speed really. The country side is way too slow paced for me to function.

But even though Nairobi is a busy city there are still many ‘African Community’ undertones. It’s not uncommon to be running 2 hours late because you stayed for a chat at one of your errands or met someone in town that you hadn’t planned on seeing and were invited for tea. Most people here don’t brush off those encounters, they respect them.

So, though I know this guy was only around the neighborhood to drop off a bag of sugar to his brother’s shop because of the sugar shortage, he sat and talked to me for about half an hour about family, school, business and aspirations. I love that about this place! There are no thick bubbles. Everyone knows everyone because they make time. They make time to sit and chat and learn about each other. They make time for caring about people, even if it means being late or losing a few hours of business.

We all know busyness gets in the way. We pack so many things into our day that we can barely accomplish everything on the list let alone make time for anyone else. And the area of life that Christians, like me, let that creep into way too often is in our relationship with Christ.

I’m not perfect; I can admit that I get way too busy to spend time with God…. a lot. But this slower paced life makes it harder to ignore my best friend. Because when I remember that tasks are just tasks and relationships are important, not only is that the purpose of the cross, but it changes my day to be relationship driven, not list driven. 

And it seems like the more time I spend with God the more I grasp this ashamedly alien notion: I’m not alive to accomplish lists, I’m alive to share what God has given me… life, freedom, forgiveness, love. And it’s only when I spend time with the giver of these things that I can freely give them.

So in this slower paced life I strive to do that daily. But not just here, it’s not about my location or the society that surrounds me. It’s about what’s under my skin and the pace of my heart that makes the difference.

Multiple Stab Wounds

"A knife would have been free" I explained to my friend when he questioned how my doctor's appointment went.
I explained to him how much I hate needles but even more so how I hate that here, I have to pay for nurses to attack my veins with sharp objects.

It's been almost a month since I first discovered that I had a problem.
The first infection was in my throat and I'm not sure I've even felt that much pain breathing before.
The hospital I went to charged me to see the doctor and then of course to get my meds.
But these meds didn't work. After 5 days of antibiotics I felt much better, but not being at all trained in the medical field, mostly because anything medical related makes me queezy, I didn't realize that my persistently runny nose meant that the infection wasn't fully gone. So it was alarming to me when my ears started hurting but I decided not to wait too long to get checked out this time.

Even with my haste, my ears were well along in the infection stage and I was given the option: Pills or injection.
Naturally, I chose pills and would happily take them, along with my bag of over the counter pain killers.

But 2 days later, as the antibiotics were subbed in because I was not strong enough to fight anymore, the pain in my ears was beyond any of the dulling that these lame pain pills could muster. With about 1400mg of ibuprofen in my system I still had a hard time sleeping.

So on the third day I went back in for my check-up and filled the doctor in on all that had gone on since I last saw her. Her response was injection. That was the only way, she told me, to make sure that this infection would be on the run completely.

So me, being somewhat used to vaccinations, though I still don't enjoy them, assumed I knew what I was in for. Boy was I WRONG!!

I watched the nurse fill up a giant syringe with 2 vials of clear liquid. (I think I heard the words "20ml" and then "not that bad") And as I was losing the battle of a sure-to-come panic attack, I asked where exactly he intended to stick me.

"In the vein", was the response I got and I nearly keeled over as I thought of bruised up IV hands. But I had to be tough, so I just whined a bit rather than full on sobbing.

He was good though. Explained what was happening as it happened and treated me just like a 3 year old, like I asked. I was thankful. But I did ask him if he though it was backwards that I had to pay him to stab me. He just laughed.

So I type today with a belly fully of drugs, two puncture wounds and empty pockets
Healthcare is expensive and I found myself thinking more than once about the people who can't afford the doctor's fees, let alone the drugs they are prescribed.

Please pray for me.
For this infection to leave me completely so that I would be healed and healthy and energized to serve.
And pray for those who are sick and can't do a thing about it.

Girls Be Shoppin'