I was trying to get my mind off of this huge mountain in front of me but just looking away doesn't make anything disappear. Two hours of avoidance had gone by and I knew I had to face it. There was a deadline in my near future and there was absolutely nothing that I could do to meet it.
I needed to hear from God so I approached Him in the laziest way I could: I opened up a Bible Study that I had been doing with a group of ladies, ironically titled, "He speaks to me." I re-read sentence after sentence and it was only after two pages of not really reading that I finally gave up and timidly opened my mouth.
It wasn't long before I became a puffy-faced mess on my bedroom floor.
I realized there were things I hadn't talked to God about, simply because I didn't want to say them out loud. and then I got to the heart of it: "I can't do this God. I have no resources, no money, There's nothing I can do to make this happen. You HAVE to do this."
You see, I was about two and a half weeks away from my tourist visa expiring and I needed to leave the country. I knew that I was going home to Canada for a visit and to get a few things done. I just didn't know how I was going to pay for a plane ticket. It is the high season and at the time tickets were listing at $2000 US. The only option I had was borrowing money from a credit card company; which is really no option at all.
As I cried out to God, "You HAVE to do this." my phone chimed in, completely unapologetic to the fact that I was in a state of surrender. I checked it anyways. You know the call of your phone is like the call of a baby in the middle of the night. You can't ignore it cause something might be wrong.
It was a text from a dear friend in Atlanta. She said she needed to speak to me urgently. I hobbled over to the computer and logged into skype, a little relieved for a break from this ugly cry that had taken over my face. There was no way I was turning on the camera but the microphone gave me away.
"You don't sound so good." She noticed. and asked me how I've been doing with the flying home issue. I brought her up to speed, that being no speed at all, and she offered to tell me some good news.
She proceeded recall that a few days ago she was praying for me and had told God that if she had $2000 she would give it to me. And God replied with, "I know, that's why you don't have it. I want to give it to her." Satisfied with that answer, she continued praying for provision and couldn't wait to see what God was about to do. Shortly after, she was talking with her ministry leader and relayed what was happening in my life and he decided to make a phone call. Long story short, God had put someone in place to take care of my flight home and back.
"There's a catch though." She said. "You have to spend two weeks in Atlanta hanging out with me."
That was part of the deal?!
I pray for money to leave the country and God gets me a return flight home with a vacation in the US as well.... all for free?
Humility knocked me to my knees. And we laughed at the absurdity of God's goodness.
It didn't all happen as smoothly as I'd hoped though. Looking back, I can see why. You see, God knows what He's doing. When He says He's going to do something, He does it! But in the mean time, there are typically a few lessons to be learned.
Yes, I was grateful. But was I willing to trust Him fully? Would I still trust that He was true to His promises if the flight wasn't booked right away? What if the person who said would take care of it, turned out to be unable to do so? I was about to have my faith tested more severely than before.
Days went by and turned into a week. Time was running out and I suddenly came down with an infection keeping me in bed for three days. I was tired, sick and without any other options but to trust that God is not the type to say something and not follow through. There was a confidence I found in that fact that surpassed any thoughts that would typically come to my mind to convince me to doubt. I came to the realization that regardless of how bleak the situation looked at the moment, God is not a liar and if He said it, He'll do it!
Two days before my visa expired I finally got some news. God had delivered me a flight itinerary and I was set to fly out the following day. I packed up, tied up loose ends and headed out on my 26 hour journey home.
I don't know that I would have wanted this experience to happen any other way. When God brings us through something challenging, something seemingly impossible, our faith and maturity is tested and strengthened. We learn about God's character and His activity impacts more than just those directly involved. It wasn't easy at the time. I won't pretend that I didn't have moments of panic. But God is trustworthy and the more we choose to live according to that fact, the easier times of challenge become.
Awesome! Thanks for sharing this...again you encouraged me, Connie.
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