Click Click Rather Than Type Type

Lately I've been working long long hours so I don't spend much time, if any, during the day on the computer.
I am able to edit on the fly though so vlogs are a bit easier than blogs at the moment.
When I write I turn into super perfectionist so entries can often take me a few hours...
yes.. I meant SUPER perfectionist.

So until I get more time to put thoughts to keyboard I hope these vlogs will keep the curious occupied.

Getting Back Up To Speed

I've been falling behind with posts and being unable to edit lately because of my computer having to be rebuilt essentially. But, all is moderately normal now and I'm beginning to catch up a bit.

I've had about 5 vlogs filmed, just waiting to be put together and put up on youtube.
I think I'll just do 4 of them.
So far two are done and you can see them below.





You can check out previous videos by clicking on "The Vlog" at the top of this page
or directly linking to my youtube channel here.

Oh, My African Mama

by Oliver Omondi

With a bundle of firewood on her head she moves with weak steps

Her face glows with a baby on her back

The baby is blissful but his muscles are weak

With her last weary step she comes to a stop

Putting the heavy bundle down with a bang

Oh, my African Mama

Rubbing her dirty hands on her apron

The baby clings tightly showing a face of joy

I almost cried, shedding tears of mercy for the growing seed, the baby

Oh, my African Mama

The baby caught his mum’s unkempt hair

Still with a smiling face not knowing the challenges

Her stomach is empty though she looks strong

Oh, my African Mama

Sitting downwards she’s eaten one meal today

I never know, who the first born is from behind

The last born being a boy, another big stomach

Oh, my African Mama

Food on the table, survival for the fittest

They struggle and grab and at last the weak grumble

With the little she has eaten, she plans for the next

Oh, my African Mama

Wrinkles on her face with strong lines

How is it being a woman full of hope?

Even with clothes dirty everywhere

Oh, my African Mama

They have struggled but still God sends some more visitors to her;

The babies

Once more the baby stands on his feeble legs

Though feeble, they look rough and strong,

ready for the journey through poverty.

Till when?

Oh, my African Mama

It's all about who?

This commercial bothers ME



I have nothing against higher education. I went to college, education is really important.
Seriously.. everyone should have the opportunity to go to college.
And to go to learn something that they love.
But it's the message in the commercial that gets to me.

"It's all about me!"
Guess what.. it's really not.

Life is not "all about me."
But it's a message that young people on this continent hear constantly.
And it's dangerous.

I definitely believe that people should take care of themselves. Selflessness does not equate to "letting yourself go" or seeing yourself as less than anyone else. But it's also not about seeing yourself as greater either.

The most influential (for good) people in this world would never say "It's all about me."
There's something really special and important about knowing that you aren't the center of the universe.
When we lose that thought, life can get ugly and lonely.

Jesus said that the second most important commandment is to "love others as you love yourself." [Matt 22:39]
So yes, I am important. But so are you.

It's not all about me. And, sorry to say, it's not all about you either.

This is not the first time I've written about this topic. Here is a blog I wrote on the old site in April 2007.

39 Bluescreens of Death on the Wall, 39 Bluescreens of Death...

This is where I rant about my recent computer problems... enjoy.

Even though my machine is the butt of many over used jokes such as,
-"Is that a laptop or a desktop?"
-"I could charge my car with that power cord"
-"is that one computer or two?"
and the uncreative, "why is your laptop so big?"

I'm not phased.
I know my laptop is big.. I have eyes too.
But there is good reason. Place your laptop next to mine and the first thing you'll see is the size but it's only because it's a 17" monster with 2 cooling fans, an excellent sound system with built in subwoofer, 6 USB ports, hdmi, firewire and every other port you might need when you do the kind of work that I do.
It's a powerhouse and I love it.

so... yes it's big, but it's exactly what I was looking for.

Unfortunately even the most amazing laptops are not immune to the *clears throat* garbage operating system known as windows vista.
If you are a vista runner and think it's great and have never had problems... excellent.
I hope it continues that way for you.
As for me, apart from the irritating constant requests for administration confirmation on simple tasks like moving files around and downloading things, Vista wasn't giving me too many hassles for about a year.

Until, it started sabotaging me with faulty driver updates which lead to too many hours of backtracking and then the first blue screen. The first turned into 5 and then 5 turned into 39 and #39 was the straw that broke my Toshiba's back.

I'll refrain from telling you about my experience with the geek squad. I'll just say it was like babysitting, only I was paying the kids that I was watching.

Long story short, I'm a PC and Windows 7 was my idea.
I'm now back up and running, faster and smoother than ever.
My giant laptop is doing giant tasks with ease and apart from the occasional screen flicker (from not having a display driver that is fully compatible - apparently it doesn't exist yet) I'm pleased.

I edited my first video the day after my software was loaded and I've never edited with such ease before.
It's gonna be good.. it's gonna be really good.

I can't wait to start doing larger projects because now I can just work.. and not constantly have crashing to worry about.
I can't wait to get a camera dusty and start telling the amazing stories of people in Kenya.
I'm glad that all of this vista corruption happened now.
As inconvenient as it was, the timing was actually great.

And So It Begins

clickity click (the image)

Gettin' vloggy wit it.

So I had an idea...

While I'm away I will definitely be doing periodic video updates.
This is so that people can see what's going on in my ministry because I can pretty much guarantee that most days will look different. One thing I love about media is that it's not at all monotonous. And the flexibility given to me in my work overseas will pretty much ensure that I'll be working with many different people in many different places doing many different things.

Awesome? Awesome!

But on top of periodic video updates I thought it might be fun to reserve one day a week to take the camera out on my typical day.

For instance, I could do vlog Thursdays.
Every Thursday (or any day) having a camera with me and documenting whatever I am doing that day.
It could be editing, laundry, grocery shopping, hanging with friends, or setting up meetings.
It could be anything really, but one thing I think it would be... is interesting.

It would give people that have never been to Kenya and opportunity to see what it's like. And it would give people an opportunity to see what missions overseas (at least in my field) is like.



So the question now is when should I start?
I will probably need to work out some kinks and get used to the idea before I leave.

But should I start now? Or wait till after Christmas.

Any requests? I'm not sure my life is THAT interesting right now, but who knows, maybe it is to others.

It will be a Happy New Year

Yes, it's been a while.
No, I don't have a good excuse.

I have excuses but they aren't amazing and they aren't really important anyways.
What IS important is what this post is about.

I'm delaying my departure 3 months.
Here's why.

My primary prayer for a long time has been about timing.
When will I return to Kenya? How long will I be at home?
What do I have time to accomplish while I am here?

It's been a year since I returned to Canada and a lot has happened that I was not prepared for.
Hard things, challenging things, turn me upside down things.
And I know without a doubt that during this time I was meant to be home, surrounded by friends and family who know me, and who supported me through the worst of it.

It's also been a time to focus on my identity. I know who I am but I think there was a brief period of questioning that. And one of the most important things in life is to know who you are and be confident in your identity. To know your strengths and your weaknesses well. In my case, that meant truly focusing on Christ's role in my life and how His presence is/should be in the forefront of everything I do.

That's just the past year. It didn't really answer my, "When am I going back?" question.

My initial goal was October.
I was planning to get back in time to apartment hunt with my former room mate who was also going to be settling in Nairobi in October.
Not long ago we talked and that plan has changed. We won't be living together and so apartment hunting together won't be necessary.

I then thought November would be a good return.
Simply because a fundraiser that I am having in November is hopefully going to raise the money I need for a plane ticket.

Well, those were my plans. And simply because I wanted to put a goal on paper when I started to seek out supporters. But last week My prayer of timing was answered.

I've been offered a job from early November to December 24.
Since being laid off this summer, I have had a few contract jobs that have kept me afloat but nothing full time.
Applications returned nothing and while I still sought out employment, the flexibility of time around my contract work really gave me the ability to accomplish things that would have been very difficult had I been in a 9-5 job. I wouldn't choose losing my job again, but I'm thankful for the time that has been made available.

The job I've been offered will only delay my return to Kenya by 3 months, and though I would love to be back in Nairobi even today, I know that there is a reason I'm not there right now. Maybe even a few reasons.
So January is my new departure. With this job, I will be able to put a lot more money into my ministry there and it will also allow me to spend one more Christmas with family before I head out for at least another 3 years.

This really is an answer to prayer.
Not an answer I could have ever called, but a great and comforting answer, none-the-less.

From Oliver to Hope

This was written by Oliver to express his thankfulness for the offerings that were made to help with his schooling.

"Appreciation for Support Offered

I’ve searched for words, in vain I get them

I’ve prayed for words, in pursuit for words

Consultation I’ve made, my brain the source

Arise from your slumber, I complain to it

At last it recovered, here being affections

The universe is large, the inhabitants are God’s

Never have I met Canadians as you

Tenderness your virtue, principle is charity

Helmet being care, shield your compassion

Wow, how to describe, I lack words

The Oliver you have nourished, will be like olive oil

To anoint other people, and chasing poverty

To raise innocence and life from bitterness in this world

And promote togetherness by preaching equality

For God is my Father, me, His son

The last but an important expression is it

I beseech your decency, to soldier on

Supporting my failed background, nursing me to might

The challenges I understand, affect you too

But your humble offer, I really really appreciate.

The world is full, but few care

‘Christian’ today, is just but a title

Action stronger than words, as it was said

Thank you, thank you and thank you

A bundle is stronger than a stick

A hand that gives is better than a mouth that just prays

Together as one, you have resurrected a hopeless soul

Your contribution is what makes it to be what you see

Why should I forget it?

Is my mind approaching expiry date?

Why too, and for what reason should I?

Never in my life will I forget

The offer you give, gives me joy and hope

Why should God be denied praises?

The keys to closed doors is a seed growing in Hope church

Forever it will sprout healthy

To produce wonderful results

Through every situation to my bed of death

I will remember Hope church."

He Is All About Details

When I spoke at church weeks ago I told a bit of the story of a friend of mine named Oliver.

He is a young man of great faith, a great writer, funny and has a very kind and observant heart. He is 14 years old and though life has not been easy by any stretch of the imagination he knows and trusts that God is on his side.


I may do a series on here about his story in the future but I wanted to quickly share something great today.

When I spoke about Oliver at church, I talked about how school fees are a huge hurdle for his family. God has provided for his schooling in great ways through neighbors and other incredible means. These last two weeks are no exception.

After my message I was approached by a few people wanting to help with his schooling and so the last two Sunday mornings there was an offering taken for him.

I had not made it known to the church how much was needed. But, when I totaled up the gifts from both weeks, the final amount was the exact amount that is needed to cover the term.

I won't say that I'm surprised as much as I am expectantly grateful. I know that we serve a God of details who knows our needs and is not only capable but insistent on providing for them. This is how I know that even though, up to now, Oliver only has money to complete grade 9, he will finish high school. I'm very confident in that and I know that he is too.

and..... fixed!

A couple of people have mentioned, and I have noticed as well, that the subscription buttons I had before were not only unnecessarily complicated, but didn't really update in good time.
I've fixed that problem with a much more streamlined tool from google's feedburner.

The subscription box is located on the left, 
beneath the top photo and is about as easy as it gets.

Step 1 - Type in your email and click 'subscribe'
Step 2 - Prove to google that you are human and check your inbox
Step 3 - Confirm your subscription

And then...once you have confirmed you will receive a notification whenever this blog is updated.

So check it out!
I, of course, tested it already and by my clock, it took 24 seconds.


Note: If you have previously subscribed, I would encourage you to sign up again, only because this new tool is much better at the job when it comes to relaying updates on time. You can always unsubscribe to the old feedblitz subscription if you decide to upgrade.

Uncontainable

The day started off badly.

I had gotten 3 hours of restless sleep before my alarm sounded with it's irritating 'cool runnins' ring to call me out of bed. I fought it though, as I always do, because even though it wasn't likely that I could get back to sleep, I was uncommonly comfortable and didn't dare move an inch before it was absolutely necessary.
The next beckoning was a text message from a friend saying that they weren't going to be able to make it to the beach today.
I was supposed to be up by then anyways, headed to Cobourg to meet other friends and hang out in the surf while doing our best to keep sand out of awkward places. I had every intention of going early, but that decision was made while I was sober, not drunk on a comfy duvet and pillow.
I eventually dragged myself out of bed though, did all that morning ritual stuff, threw on my bathing suit and another layer of clothing and headed to the car. I left about an hour and a half later than I had wanted to but I was on the way so I thought it not a huge deal. I drove in the fast lane to make up some time on the hour long drive and as I neared the little beach town I somehow missed the signs and consequently, the exit.
It would have been no big deal except for the realization that the next exit off the highway was about 20 kilometers away and there were small rain drops falling and clinging to my windshield.
Not loving that I was adding another 30 minutes to my trip I received a call from my friends who were already at the beach. It was indeed raining and they were packing up and heading to a restaurant.

This is the point in the morning when I realized that I was officially in a bad mood. Lunch would be nice indoors instead of sitting in sand with seagulls eye-balling your every move just praying that you'll drop something so they can fight each other for a fingernail sized crumb. I found my friends in the parking lot and we headed for lunch. I tried shaking my mood but even when I was able to, for seconds at a time, my mind would wander and I'd be in a daze and then I'd think, wow, I must be wonderful company. [And I do apologize for being so boring at lunch - I'll make it up to you guys. Maybe we can watch another TV series in it's entirety next week]

On the way home though, something great happened. It had stopped raining and for a split second I took my mind off myself and looked up into the sky. It wasn't intentional, it wasn't premeditated and it certainly wasn't a lot of time but it was enough to stir something inside of me. The white clouds on the brilliantly clear blue backdrop reminded me of something very important: nothing that happened this morning really matters. It doesn't matter now and it certainly wont matter tomorrow.

I drove for two and a half hours today without setting foot on the beach. So what? My bad mood shifted to a feeling of relief and even joy because I remembered that this world will throw many things at me and try to take me down but I have already declared that I'm not living for the prizes of this world.

In the car, heading west on the 401 a song came on that sang, 'the heavens can't contain the glory of the Son' and I thought, how true! This glory is uncontainable. All I did was glance at a tiny slice of creation and before I could blink, it screamed goodness back into my life. It refocused my heart on my prize; being in the presence of my creator - today, tomorrow and forever. Sure, life has nice door prizes. This planet was created specifically for us and for our enjoyment. But there are many things that will distract us from the real prize that stands before us. I'm thankful for the reminder and glad that a detour and a little rain on a beach day didn't distract me for longer than it did.

So today I do not ignore the uncontainable glory that gently reminds me of what is important and what is not.
I'll fill the car with gas and I won't be bitter.
I will live for my God.
It's the least I can do, after all, He died for me.

Insomnia: not a complete waste of time

The most challenging time of the day, for me, is falling asleep.

If the time is stamped on this post you will see it's around 4am and it's not an oddity that I'm up so late... especially these days. What's more is that, not only am I wide awake, but even if I were able to sleep in the next hour, I'm awake again at 7:30-8:00 am with much difficulty falling asleep again.

I was able to catch the last bit of 'The Machinist' on TV last night. Apparently a movie about an insomniac who goes crazy after an accident at work and I'm kind of wondering when I will go crazy. I thought, at least I get a few hours a night. It's better than nothing. But one thing I've noticed is that, unlike any prior sleep deprivation issues in my past, this time round, the only consequence I seem to be suffering is boredom.

In the past, a lack of sleep would surely bring on illness and problems staying awake during the day but it's not like that this time round. I can't remember the last time I was able to nap and my physical health is fine.

My only theory is that God is sparing me the harsh side affects because, 

1) I'm spending more uninterrupted time with Him

2) He knows that if I was any less sane during the day I would self destruct, and
3) He's a healer, yes even before illness rears it's inconvenient head.

I would love to have a 12 hour sleep session, and I will again, one day. But until then, I suppose I am thankful, for health, and for the extra time I'm able to spend with the one who values my time and cares for my company.

I am curious though, after warm milk and hot baths, melatonin and, in my weaker moments, nyquil (which gives me horrible dreams!!!) what are some things that help people sleep?

When Life Hurts

As I sit here paralyzed by thought, pushing out and replacing hurtful scenes that keep trying to force themselves into center stage, I feel a familiar tug of hope on my heart. It's way down there, but it's there.

All my major organs are battling for normalcy. My heart for healing, my stomach for calm, my skin for warmth, my brain for peace, my blood to cool, my muscles to loosen my lungs to stop aching. Our bodies were designed to experience intense joy but because of that we also experience severe pain. It's the blessing and the curse of being alive.

I know that I'm not the only one who has ever felt hurt. I know that because of living in this world, where someone else's sin can affect your life and your sin can affect someone else's life, we have all been wounded. And if it hasn't happened yet, then I hope that you are spared somehow.

I'm desperate for truth but I'm equally as desperate for an eraser. I want to erase the memories and conversations that keep me up at night and wake me up in the morning. I fight the bitterness and I thank God that it hasn't won over me. It's a fight that I'm no longer fighting alone. My emotions are on life support and each beep represents a second. Each second is a feeble attempt at allowing or blocking thoughts that determine my current state of mind. It's unstable, one wrong move could send it all toppling over with my body following it to the floor and then I'm back at the beginning. Starting to sort all over again.

I don't write this for revenge or slander or recognition. I write it because of that familiar tug of hope inside of me. Because there is a God who loves us and wraps us in His arms. Because when our hearts are broken and trampled, he feels it too. Sin grieves Him, it breaks His heart. Paul writes to Christians in Ephesians 4:25-32 [msg]

What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ's body we're all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.  Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.  Did you use to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can't work.  Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.  Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don't take such a gift for granted.  Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

And just as when we do wrong we break His heart, when someone wrongs us it breaks His heart. Like a Father or Mother who feels pain when their child is hurt, God feels it so much more because He sees more. He sees the root and the extent of the damage. But it is never beyond repair.

I want people to know what He's showing me. That God is more powerful than your hurt. He can heal you. He will heal me. It's ok to grieve. It's ok to be angry. I'm not ashamed of how I feel because even Jesus felt this way. He was wrongfully disowned by one of His best friends as He was being sentenced to the most physically and emotionally painful moments of His life. [Matthew 26:69-75]

It is because I know that I'm not alone that I know I will be ok and that I can move on. Not one day at a time, but one minute at a time. It still hurts, I will still have days when I fail to sort out the painful thoughts and crash into the ground but there is increasing comfort in the knowledge that He loves me. Justice is not mine to be had, bitterness has no home here. In my strong moments I choose God so that in my weak moments He will carry me. It's not easy. I won't lie and tell you it is. But even though life hurts sometimes, we are not alone.
He loves us.

Oops

I had the address wrong on my previous post.
Please note that it should be 85 Kings Cres. in Ajax

Sorry about that.

Come and Listen

Are you in the area?

Do you want to hear about and see some things that I will be doing in Kenya? I will be explaining most of that next Sunday. 

I can't promise it will be eloquent, but I can tell you that I'll do my best!

I will be speaking on Sunday July 25th at Hope Community Church in Ajax.
35 85 King's Crescent, Ajax
The service starts at 10am and goes to 11:30am.
Dress code is casual.

If you are free I would love to see you there.

And please pray that this small version of writers block will lift so that I can resume being productive.

Thanks for the offer but I'll walk.

I'm setting my, 'this first post better be really good' nerves aside and I'm just going to jump into this thing. Cause a cannonball into the deep end is much easier than a slow entry into a cold pool.

Where I've been:

I'm at home in Canada. I've been here since last September.

When I left Nairobi I had this fanciful idea that I would be back in a couple of months. I was hopeful, I even had some leads on how that would happen, but that couple of months turned into 10 and I'm still home.

10 months of waiting for something can wear on you. It's nothing compared to 40 years in a desert and I thank God for that. But, I've had a lot of confusing moments. I've faced a lot of questions, discouragement and rejection. These from myself, people around me and organizations that I had applied to. Not all the time, but enough at times to get me down and cause confusion and even doubt. But from God, I always received an urge to be patient, encouragement and promise of something great.

I don't know if you've ever experienced a time where you knew that you were supposed to be on a specific road in life even though it was a tough one. The only way I can describe it is like this.

Where I'm at:

It's like you are walking down a deserted road in the scorching heat carrying a heavy bag. You know that once you get to the end of the road, to your destination -even though it's beyond what you can see right now- you will be able to rest for a bit. But the bag is so heavy and you are so tired, thirsty and uncomfortably hot that even sitting down to rest isn't an option.

And then... a car comes by. The driver sees your challenge, and wants to help you so you are offered a ride. The car is air conditioned, you are offered a cold drink and you could finally take off your bag and put it in the trunk. But this car isn't headed in your direction. It's headed back to where you just came from. You know what it was like back there. You are comfortable with familiar things but you've been promised something greater at the end of this difficult road. And all you can do is trust that this promise is true. Because back where you started is easier and familiar and your friends and family are there, but the whole time you were there, your heart was in that promise.

So many people are like that driver. They see someone facing a challenge and want to help. I do it too. If only there were a way to lessen their load, to lift their burden and offer them something easier. For me, the place that the driver wanted to help me get to was a stable career, owning a home and a car and possibly settling down with a family and being financially comfortable. That's not a bad life. Maybe it's what God promised you. There's nothing wrong with that, for most people. But it's not what I was promised. At least not right now. Maybe that will be my future, maybe not, I don't really know. But what I do know is that at the end of this road is a destination that was designed with me in mind. And that's REALLY exciting to me.

Some people that will read this will probably think that it's sad or absurd or maybe a mixture of both. That I'm crazy or irresponsible or just plain lost. But I can honestly assure everyone that I find my purpose when I am working with God in cross cultural missions than when I am working with God in a career back home. It's just who He created me to be.

Where I'm going:

So during the 10 month (so far) walk down this road I have recently been able to catch glimpses of the destination. There was definitely a reason that I had to be patient. God was putting things into place the whole time and now that things are lining up, I will be returning to Nairobi, hopefully in October.

What I will be doing there you can read about by clicking on 'Why Stories?' in the menu above. And just because you may not have been called to live out this kind of work or if your purpose is to remain home it doesn't mean that you can't be part of what is happening in Kenya or anywhere else in the world. If you are interested in joining me in what I'm doing there are ways you can do that without even leaving your computer. If you are interested, you can contact me through the menu above and let me know how you would like to be involved. I know I can find a place for you on this team. It's going to be a fantastic ride and I will keep you informed every step of the way.

The difficult road is already worth it. Thank you to everyone who supported me on it, those who were looking out for me and even those who offered me a ride. I know your heart was in the right place.

I'm moving in

As much as I loved my old blog site I've been looking for a change.

Something a little more streamlined, something a little simpler to follow.

This is where I will write from now on. This is where I will share videos and pictures.

This is where I will show you what is happening in my adventure, where ever it may take me.

But more importantly,

this is where I will tell the stories of what God is doing.

And now I will begin...

Telling His Stories