Thanks for the offer but I'll walk.

I'm setting my, 'this first post better be really good' nerves aside and I'm just going to jump into this thing. Cause a cannonball into the deep end is much easier than a slow entry into a cold pool.

Where I've been:

I'm at home in Canada. I've been here since last September.

When I left Nairobi I had this fanciful idea that I would be back in a couple of months. I was hopeful, I even had some leads on how that would happen, but that couple of months turned into 10 and I'm still home.

10 months of waiting for something can wear on you. It's nothing compared to 40 years in a desert and I thank God for that. But, I've had a lot of confusing moments. I've faced a lot of questions, discouragement and rejection. These from myself, people around me and organizations that I had applied to. Not all the time, but enough at times to get me down and cause confusion and even doubt. But from God, I always received an urge to be patient, encouragement and promise of something great.

I don't know if you've ever experienced a time where you knew that you were supposed to be on a specific road in life even though it was a tough one. The only way I can describe it is like this.

Where I'm at:

It's like you are walking down a deserted road in the scorching heat carrying a heavy bag. You know that once you get to the end of the road, to your destination -even though it's beyond what you can see right now- you will be able to rest for a bit. But the bag is so heavy and you are so tired, thirsty and uncomfortably hot that even sitting down to rest isn't an option.

And then... a car comes by. The driver sees your challenge, and wants to help you so you are offered a ride. The car is air conditioned, you are offered a cold drink and you could finally take off your bag and put it in the trunk. But this car isn't headed in your direction. It's headed back to where you just came from. You know what it was like back there. You are comfortable with familiar things but you've been promised something greater at the end of this difficult road. And all you can do is trust that this promise is true. Because back where you started is easier and familiar and your friends and family are there, but the whole time you were there, your heart was in that promise.

So many people are like that driver. They see someone facing a challenge and want to help. I do it too. If only there were a way to lessen their load, to lift their burden and offer them something easier. For me, the place that the driver wanted to help me get to was a stable career, owning a home and a car and possibly settling down with a family and being financially comfortable. That's not a bad life. Maybe it's what God promised you. There's nothing wrong with that, for most people. But it's not what I was promised. At least not right now. Maybe that will be my future, maybe not, I don't really know. But what I do know is that at the end of this road is a destination that was designed with me in mind. And that's REALLY exciting to me.

Some people that will read this will probably think that it's sad or absurd or maybe a mixture of both. That I'm crazy or irresponsible or just plain lost. But I can honestly assure everyone that I find my purpose when I am working with God in cross cultural missions than when I am working with God in a career back home. It's just who He created me to be.

Where I'm going:

So during the 10 month (so far) walk down this road I have recently been able to catch glimpses of the destination. There was definitely a reason that I had to be patient. God was putting things into place the whole time and now that things are lining up, I will be returning to Nairobi, hopefully in October.

What I will be doing there you can read about by clicking on 'Why Stories?' in the menu above. And just because you may not have been called to live out this kind of work or if your purpose is to remain home it doesn't mean that you can't be part of what is happening in Kenya or anywhere else in the world. If you are interested in joining me in what I'm doing there are ways you can do that without even leaving your computer. If you are interested, you can contact me through the menu above and let me know how you would like to be involved. I know I can find a place for you on this team. It's going to be a fantastic ride and I will keep you informed every step of the way.

The difficult road is already worth it. Thank you to everyone who supported me on it, those who were looking out for me and even those who offered me a ride. I know your heart was in the right place.