The Rattlesnake And The Man

This morning I woke from a dream unlike any I've ever had before. I was with a man, one I didn't recognize from my life, who was teaching me some things as we wondered through some rooms.

We came to a room that we needed to get through but there was a single rattlesnake in this room. I can't remember what was on the other side of this room but I do remember feeling like I would brave anything just to get there. This man claimed that this snake was assiduous in it's desire to attack him the last time he passed through but he knew how to thwart the snake. 

The next thing I know, I am floating through the room side by side with this man. It seemed as if he intentionally led us to the snake rather than trying to get through the room quickly. He had a large piece of paper that draped down and he continuously positioned us in a way that if the snake struck, we would be defended by this shield. It was working, only I couldn't figure out why this man continued to stay in the corner of the room where this snake was, locked in a dance that seemed frustratingly unnecessary. 

I became fearful the longer we danced there and found myself separated from the man and trying to get to the door. Only, the further I got from the man, the lower I floated and somehow, this rattlesnake had ended up right in front of me. I heard the man call me back quickly. But I froze. Then the man yelled out a direction but it was too late. The snake lunged and just as I woke up, I knew that the 'me' I left in that dream had suffered a fatal bite.

If He Said It...

It was a Wednesday night and watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition was a bad idea because I was already feeling a bit emotional.

I was trying to get my mind off of this huge mountain in front of me but just looking away doesn't make anything disappear. Two hours of avoidance had gone by and I knew I had to face it. There was a deadline in my near future and there was absolutely nothing that I could do to meet it.

I needed to hear from God so I approached Him in the laziest way I could: I opened up a Bible Study that I had been doing with a group of ladies, ironically titled, "He speaks to me." I re-read sentence after sentence and it was only after two pages of not really reading that I finally gave up and timidly opened my mouth.

It wasn't long before I became a puffy-faced mess on my bedroom floor.

I realized there were things I hadn't talked to God about, simply because I didn't want to say them out loud. and then I got to the heart of it: "I can't do this God. I have no resources, no money, There's nothing I can do to make this happen. You HAVE to do this."

This Is Kinda Tough

Bad news...
Immigration has decided to decline my application for a missionary permit.
I have yet to find out the reason yet, but this means that I am not YET a resident of Kenya.
My tourist visa is expiring at the beginning of July and so I need to leave the country... again.

There are a lot of aspects of this situation that are trying to bring me down and, I'm not going to lie, I have my days of stress. It's really hard when things that are out of your control don't go as you want them to. And it's just plain hard when things are out of your control. But God is doing something big here and taking me through a transition. And even though the boat may be rocking, this boat will reach the shore... eventually.

We all know that when it rains it pours and boy, is it pouring right now. I won't go into detail about everything that is standing in my way because it's just temptation to complain and forget to trust in my God.

But I do need prayer. Please pray for provision for my going home and returning again.
Provision has been a theme in my life for the past few years and you'd think I would have learned to trust without doubting by now. But I admit, it is still a lesson I need to learn. I'm waiting on God for what seems like a miracle. And when it happens, I know it will be undeniably His doing.

Grace Plays For Someone Else Now

Grace was on her way to a basketball scholarship in the US before she got injured. When she thought her dreams were lost, God showed her something new.

Listen to Grace's story below.